Unintended Immortality

“The sky is getting darker; it's just the right time to share some tales of immortals and ghosts, along with some stories from the capital.” A slightly plump storyteller stepped out, flicking his folding fan to cool his slightly sweaty face. “Let’s all enjoy the breeze while you listen.”

Immediately, some familiar patrons below asked, “What will you tell us today, sir?”

“Not long ago, I’m sure everyone has heard about the incident at the Grand Commander's residence. The authorities have also issued a notice explaining what happened,” the storyteller said.

He continued, “Yesterday afternoon, the demon who deceived the Grand Commander with wicked sorcery was captured by the officers. It’s quite lamentable that such a dignified Grand Commander could be so foolish in his old age.”

“What did the demon look like?”

“It wasn’t some three-headed, six-armed creature, nor a hulking beast. It was just a talented eccentric from the jianghu who could wield sorcery. He was short and thin, with a tuft of goat-like beard. I heard that tomorrow morning, he will be paraded through the streets. He’s likely to pass by here as well. If you wish to see him, just grab a stool and sit by the roadside,” the storyteller continued.

He suddenly widened his eyes, his tone shifting to something more sinister, as if trying to create a peculiar atmosphere that drew attention. “Don’t underestimate this person just because he doesn’t look impressive!”

The crowd instantly fell silent, all eyes fixed on him. The storyteller was quite pleased with their reaction, clearly adept at drawing in his audience. He then snorted coldly, “This demon managed to fool the Grand Commander and brazenly cast his spells under the very nose of the emperor, in the capital itself. How could he lack any real skill?”

The audience grew even quieter at this revelation.

“A little insider information!” the storyteller lowered his voice. “I heard that after the demon escaped, it was only with the help of the State Preceptor’s subordinates from the Juxian Mansion that they discovered where he fled. Then, the masters of the Juxian Mansion, together with the Martial Guards and the imperial army, pursued him, resulting in many casualties before finally capturing him.”

“That's impressive!” Gasps of surprise rippled through the crowd.

At this moment, the Great Yan was in a period of prosperity, with its national strength robust. On one hand, people took pride in this achievement, recognizing the court's power; they felt that the emperor’s way was lofty and that even the Celestial Emperor and Buddha must yield to it.

On the other hand, they fully trust the capabilities of the Juxian Mansion, the Martial Guard, and the imperial army. They believed that no matter how skilled the jianghu masters were, with such a formidable force from the court, capturing him should be quite easy. Thus, they express their astonishment.

This, to some extent, reflected the mindset of the citizens of Changjing at this time. In times of prosperity, the government appeared powerful and godlike.

“Therefore, I’d like to advise everyone here. Tomorrow when the authorities parade that man through the streets, there might be people throwing stones and vegetable leaves at him just for fun. Please don’t do that!”

The storyteller continued, “Not that I think he could cause any more trouble under the authority’s watch, but who knows if this demon has any other tricks up his sleeve? If any of you end up attracting bad luck, it won’t be worth it!” n/ô/vel/b//jn dot c//om

After saying this, he quickly lowered his voice, adopting a submissive stance. “Of course, this is just based on my years of storytelling experience, and I’m only advising you for your own good! You’ve all spent money, and you are my patrons. I can’t let you suffer any loss, can I?”

Cheers erupted from the audience below as the sound of coins jingling filled the air. The guests laughed heartily, not thinking too deeply about it. In their moment of joy, they tossed a few coins up to the stage.

The storyteller thanked them with a bow, then added, “But please, do not spread this around! The authorities would surely love for the common folk to throw more stones and vegetables at that demon. If I advise against such behavior here and the authorities hear of it, they will certainly be displeased.”

The implication was that he was risking the ire of the officials for their sake. The sound of coins jingling continued from the stage.

Song You couldn’t help but smile. This man was quite skilled.

It was clear to him that much of what the storyteller said was false or merely conjecture, and even the claim that many officials died trying to capture the demon was likely untrue. However, Song You still found it amusing.

He lifted his cup to drink tea, glancing outside.

Changjing had already fallen into darkness. Though there were lights, they were nowhere near as bright as in later times; they paled in comparison to the well-lit streets of the eastern part of the city. The streets were pitch black.

The light in the houses was dim, barely sufficient to see by, reminiscent of power outages in rural areas in his past life. The people moving about on the streets were mere shadowy figures against the darkness.

At the entrance of the teahouse, many people leaned against the walls, soaking in the storyteller’s tales of gods and demons while passing the summer hours. Such entertainment was quite enjoyable. However, the tea was a bit bitter.

Word had it that there was a teahouse in Changjing called the Anle Pavilion, renowned for its tea artistry, considered a unique treasure of Changjing and a pioneer of tea culture in the world today. One wondered where it might be and how much silver would be needed to enjoy an afternoon there.

At this moment, the Daoist had a considerable sum of money in his wallet.

“That Grand Commander is senile, indulging his son to the point where he behaves lawlessly in Changjing and acts wantonly. Now that he has also been influenced by demonic magic, it has become an even greater taboo in the court. In my opinion, the Grand Commander's family should be expelled from the capital. Yet, until now, His Majesty has shown no intent to do so. What do you think is the reason?”

“Of course, it’s because the Chang family is related to the Empress.”

“Heh, I doubt that…”

“Then what is the reason?”

“As you all know, the master who punished the Grand Commander’s son is a divine immortal descended to earth. But you seem to have forgotten that when the deity left, he said that if the son and the steward acted kindly in the future, they could return to Changjing. Upon hearing of their good deeds, they could restore their former status.

“If they were expelled from the capital, where would the divine immortal go to find them when he returned?”

“If the divine immortal wants to find them, how could he possibly fail?”

The voices in the teahouse continued to rise and fall, and compared to the brothels, this place felt much more casual. The Daoist had finished his tea and stood up to leave.

At the end of May, the stars filled the sky in the peak of summer.

As pedestrians walked along, they seemed unaware of their surroundings. Just as he approached his front door, he saw a figure leap down from a second-floor window, landing directly on the ground, then stumbling up and running off into the distance.

In the dim night, the figure collided with several pedestrians, resulting in a chorus of discontent from the crowd.

The Daoist paid no mind and walked straight back home.

The inside of the house was even darker than outside. Just as he lit the oil lamp, a calico cat peeked out from the stairway and said, “Daoist priest, someone came into our house just now to steal something.”

“Did you scare him away?”

“Just as I was about to chase him off, he jumped out the window and ran away.”

“That must mean Lady Calico scared him off!”

“Really?” The cat's eyes widened as it stared at him.

“Maybe.” Holding the oil lamp, the Daoist walked into the inner room to fetch water and wash up.

The calico cat quickly descended the stairs to follow him, tilting its head to look at him. “Was that person trying to steal our money?”

“Probably trying to steal a painting.”

“Oh...” The cat seemed to let out a sigh of relief.

“Lady Calico, what do you think…?”

“I think...”

“Since we have some money recently, how about I take you to the Anle Pavilion for tea?” the Daoist asked while washing his face.

“Is it that bitter water?”

“It's the best tea in Changjing.”

The cat stared at him for a moment before asking, “How much will it cost?”

The Daoist grinned from ear to ear while washing his face.

***

He started to open the door. As he had thought, after closing the door for such a long time, many people were already aware of his stance. As he expected, some still came knocking at his door.

These visitors weren't all thick-skinned officials and nobles from the city; some were merely curious or simple-minded. There were also those who hadn't visited for several days and were unaware that he had been closed for nearly half a month, and some genuinely came seeking his help to exorcize evil, dispel demons, or drive away rats.

The Daoist received each one of them. However, he had already taken down the sign for exorcism. If someone genuinely needed help, he would go to assist them; if it was an official or noble seeking to build connections, he almost always politely refused, suggesting they seek the local experts in Changjing instead.

As for those who came asking Lady Calico to help drive away rats, he almost never turned them down, wanting to keep her happy. The price for the officials and nobles remained the same as before: five hundred qian per visit.

Although he dealt with fewer complicated matters, it wasn't as peaceful as he had imagined.

A few days later, during the peak of summer, they had fully entered the hot season. Song You chose a cooler morning to change into ordinary clothes and took a little girl with him to the Anle Pavilion in the eastern district early on.

Even though it was early, there were already many people in the pavilion. Judging by their luxurious attire, most of them seemed to be wealthy individuals.

The attendant was very enthusiastic and introduced, “Since this is your first visit, and you've come so early, let me recommend the changmiaochun tea. It has a rich aroma, moistens the palate, and is invigorating, ensuring you stay energized all day.

“However, if you come after mid-afternoon, I wouldn't dare recommend this pot of tea to you; drinking it then might keep you awake at night.”

“How much is it?”

“It’s not expensive, three hundred qian per pot, and I'll give you a plate of fruits for free.”

“Is there anything else?”

“Let me recommend the xianrenyin tea. This tea has recently become quite popular. Its fragrance is light and long-lasting, and sipping a pot feels like being in the mountains with immortals. It’s just two hundred qian pot, but no fruit included,” the attendant said with a smile. “It’s quiet right now, so if you wish, I can invite our best tea master to brew it for you.”

“What are those few people over there drinking?”

“Oh, that's our signature drink, the qingzhushang tea. It’s favored by the nobility and is brewed with tea art by the shop owner himself, priced at four hundred qian per cup. Both its flavor and presentation are exceptional,” the attendant explained.

He said, “In the past, it was brewed personally by the old shop owner. He’s quite old now and has passed the business to the new owner, but the new owner is the old owner’s eldest son. His tea skills are truly inherited, and he’s just as good.”

Every time the topic turned to money, the little girl would furrow her brows. This made Lady Calico feel quite distressed.

“I like this one.”

“Would you like a cup?”

“Two cups.”

“Would you like to order some fruits as well?”

“Any recommendations?”

“Our shop’s homemade dried plums, fine dried meat, osmanthus cake, and green dumplings are all popular. You can mix and match a few items; our shop guarantees no overcharging.”

“I’ll get a plate of dried meat and a mixed plate of the rest.”

“Alright!” The attendant was very diligent and immediately left.

The fair and delicate front part of the brows of Lady Calico now had a few small creases, making one want to laugh and also wanting to smooth them out for her.

Perhaps she had endured too much hardship, becoming accustomed to it. So, after all this time, she still didn’t realize that poverty and lack of money were two different things; the Daoist often felt poor but rarely truly lacked money.