Reincarnated as the Villainess’s Unlucky Bodyguard

I woke up to a cold, clammy sensation on my back. My first groggy thought was, Did I spill water on my bed? But as I blinked my eyes open, the cold wasn't just underneath me it was everywhere.

"What the—" My breath caught as I realized my bed wasn't in my room anymore. It was floating. On a river. A literal river.

"Good morning, princess!" Ananara's chipper voice piped up from the corner of my mattress. He was reclining against my pillow like this was a luxury cruise instead of a bizarre nightmare. "Enjoying your aquatic adventure?"

"What is this?" I demanded, sitting up too quickly. My movement caused the bed to wobble precariously, and I grabbed the edge for balance. "Why am I on a river? Did someone throw me out? Again?"

[Good morning, Liria!] The system's cheerful voice chimed in my head. [This is your wake-up call. Literally. You'll be starting your specialized endurance training today!]

I blinked. "My what?"

[Endurance training,] the system repeated, unbothered by the rising pitch of my voice. [And what better way to train than surviving nature's finest? You're welcome.]

"I'm going to kill you," I growled under my breath.

"That's the spirit," Ananara said, completely misunderstanding.

I looked around. The river wasn't wide, but the current was surprisingly strong. Trees lined the banks, their branches dipping into the water like eerie, gnarled fingers. The sky was still dark, faintly tinged with the pre-dawn light.

"System," I hissed, clutching the edge of my floating bed, "explain how I went to sleep in my room and woke up here. On a river. On my bed."

[Daena may have… assisted.]

I froze. "Daena did what?"

[She said, and I quote, 'If she's going to be dramatic about everything, she might as well do it wet.' Lovely sentiment, don't you think?]

I groaned, dragging a hand down my face. "This has got to be some kind of violation. Like, demon-child cruelty laws or something."

Ananara snickered. "I think it's brilliant. You needed a bath anyway."

"You're one bad comment away from being turned into a smoothie," I snapped, glaring at him.

The system ignored my outburst. [Now, let's get started! Your goal is to swim to the riverbank and then run back to the castle. Easy, right?]

"Swim?" I repeated, staring down at the dark, icy water. "I'm not exactly dressed for a morning dip!"

[Consider it a test of your adaptability. And don't worry, the river is only slightly infested with carnivorous fish.]

I nearly fell off the bed. "What?"

"I'll keep watch," Ananara said smugly. "You go ahead and flail your way to shore."

I shot him a glare so venomous it could've curdled milk. "Why don't you jump in first, Captain Smug?"

"Pineapples don't swim," he replied breezily. "But I'll cheer you on. Go team Liria!"

I let out a long, exasperated sigh. "This is my life now. Floating down rivers, arguing with a pineapple, and being tormented by an invisible system."

[Correct! Now, chop-chop! The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be warm and dry again. Or dead. Your choice!]

Grumbling under my breath, I scooted to the edge of the mattress and dipped a toe into the water. It was freezing. "Great. Just great."

"Think of it as character building," Ananara said. "Or hypothermia building. Either way, entertaining."

With a glare, I shoved him into the water. His outraged squawk was immensely satisfying. "Oh no!" I said mockingly. "Guess pineapples can swim after all!"

"HELP!" Ananara shrieked, bobbing in the current. "I'm too delicious to drown!"

Rolling my eyes, I dove in after him. The icy water stole my breath, but I managed to grab him before the current could whisk him away.

"You're welcome," I muttered, hauling us both toward the shore.

"I hate you," he spluttered.

"The feeling's mutual."

Once we reached the bank, I collapsed onto the muddy ground, panting.

[Well done, Liria! You've earned… absolutely nothing so far. But keep it up!] the system chirped in my head, far too cheerful for the circumstances.

"I hope you glitch and get stuck in a toaster," I muttered, dragging myself up from the muddy riverbank.

"That was pathetic," came a voice as sharp as a blade.

I froze mid-grumble and turned my head to see Daena standing on the riverbank, her massive horns gleaming in the faint pre-dawn light. She was dressed casually for her—a flowing obsidian robe—but the fiery look in her glowing violet eyes screamed anything but casual.

"Oh, great," I said, wringing water from my soaked clothes. "Let me guess. This was your idea?"

"Correct," Daena said, folding her arms. Her whip-like tail swished behind her, an ominous sign of her mood. "And now that you've had your little warm-up, it's time for the real training."

I gestured to my sodden state. "What do you call this? A spa day?"

Daena raised an eyebrow. "Complaining already? Good. That means we're off to a strong start." She clapped her hands together, the sound echoing through the quiet forest. "Get up. Training begins now."

"I'm wet, freezing, and probably have leeches on me," I said flatly. "Can I at least have breakfast first?"

"No," she replied with a toothy grin. "If you want food, earn it."

Ananara, still dripping and clearly traumatized from his near-drowning, muttered, "I vote we run."

"Silence, fruit," Daena snapped, making him flinch.

"Not a fruit!" he hissed under his breath but wisely stayed quiet.

Daena stepped closer, her towering frame casting a long shadow over me. "Today, you'll learn the basics of combat endurance. Magic, stamina, and precision. If you survive, maybe I'll let you have dinner. Fail, and... well, you'll see."

I gulped. "You're really leaning into the whole 'demon queen' aesthetic, huh?"

"Always."

Before I could protest further, Daena waved her hand, and the ground beneath me began to tremble.

"What the—" I stumbled backward as jagged stone pillars shot up from the ground in a wide circle, forming an impromptu arena.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

"You'll fight against these," Daena said, gesturing to the pillars.

I squinted. "Uh… fight rocks? Is this some kind of metaphor?"

"No," she said simply, and with another flick of her wrist, the pillars began to move.

"What kind of rocks are these?" I yelled, dodging as one of the stone constructs swung a jagged arm at me.

[Surprise! You're now facing animated stone golems, Level 10. Good luck!]

"Could've mentioned that earlier!" I snapped mentally at the system.

Daena smirked from the sidelines. "Focus. If you can't handle this, you'll never survive real combat."

"Maybe I don't want to survive!" I shot back, narrowly avoiding another swipe.

"That can be arranged," Daena said, her tone entirely too pleasant.

Ananara, perched on the edge of the arena, was no help at all. "Use your new earth magic! Or maybe just roll over and cry. Either works."

I gritted my teeth. Fine. If she wanted me to fight rocks, I'd fight rocks. Summoning my magic, I aimed a Stone Shot at one of the golems.

The tiny pebble hit its chest and fell harmlessly to the ground.

"Impressive," Daena drawled. "If your goal was to tickle it."

"This is impossible!" I yelled, dodging yet another swing.

"Impossible? Or just difficult?" Daena countered. "There's a difference, Liria. Now stop whining and fight."

I swore under my breath, but I wasn't about to let her win. Squaring my shoulders, I tightened my grip on my sword and charged.